My untitled, unfinished song

[Everything seems so beautiful in my head.  I wish you all could hear the music I wrote for guitar to accompany this.]

We all wanna go somewhere else.
We all wanna be the stand out.
Everybody tries so hard,
To be something they really aren't!

Hey... You... Walk to me now...
Hey... You, over there. I'll show you how to lose yourself.
Cause we... Aren't real, and I'm fallin down down down...
All... I am... is an impersonation of myself.

There is no line

[comments appreciated!]



I always want to be better.
Better at what I do, better at what I don't.
How can I know there's improvement,
When the white blends with the black.
In all of this chaos, disorder, mayhem...
I'm constantly trying to sort things out.
At what point will I discover how I did,
and which choices I made were right.

I guess this gives me something to do,
for the rest of my life.

[comments appreciated!]

Life with depression.

Basically... it sucks.  That should be pretty obvious. But most people don't know just how much.

I was reading a book that had an analogy I thought was pretty accurate.  Imagine taking a paperclip, straightening it out, and sticking one end underneath your fingernail.  Except, that feeling is experienced mentally and emotionally.  I know that the first time I visualized this in my head, I cringed at the thought.

So, I know this is pretty random. But I guess I just want to bring it out into the open. People don't talk about personal things like this enough, and openly too.  It's like it's some sort of taboo to discuss mental illnesses.  Though, on the other hand, it isn't exactly easy to talk about...

Fire and Ice

don't let anything take you down.
don't come crashing to the ground.
once you've fallen, it's tough to get back up.
so keep on marching through fire and ice
while all hell rains down on your parade.

you had a bad day, things aren't lookin so good
you stepped out of place, and then put up your hood
they don't know how you feel, maybe neither do I
you say that your life is shit, but do you really wanna die?

it's not that hard...
why give up now?
there's still a way to
lift yourself from being down
tilt your head up
look at the possibilities
the sun is shining
so brightly...

so what, you've fallen down
but you're not really on the ground.
all ya gotta do to get up
is just open your eyes.
open them wide
take it all in
one little piece at a time
look at the sky
reach a little farther
I know that if you'd only try...




[comments are appreciated!!]

Poetry

Well, I've decided to start putting some of my poetry on my blog in the hopes that people will read and comment on them. Wishful thinking, right?

I'm hoping that people will see my poems and think about what they mean, also. So here's my first. It's titled...

Don't Feel

When you're sad, don't be sad.
When you're glad, don't be glad.
Don't feel at all, don't be human.
And when you're mad... Confused...
Switch out your mask.
Put on a shadow so they see right past you.
What are emotions but weaknesses
that tear away at our souls.
Just a way to mess with us, use us, lose us.
So don't feel at all.

Let me know what you think.

My posts

seem to randomly get off topic.  I guess I'm just following my train of thought, as it leads me off into the middle of nowhere.

People really irk me...

Especially in groups.  That has got to be the thing i hate the most. People in masses just get stupider (at least at my school). Let me use the "class jocks" as examples. They're really not bad people, but when you have two are more, they get so annoying I just can't stand it! Here's an example of what they do. This particular scene took place in the bathroom, when I decided I needed to use the toilet...

idiot #1: -makes farting noise-

idiot #1&2: -laugh-

idiot #1: "I'm poopin. Hahaha."

idiot #2: "hahaha i'm poopin too. haha."

me: -grimacing at the rancid smell as I leave-

The is a wonderful example of their stupidity at its purest.  Of course, other example include (but are not limited to):

-saying a random phrase, such as "what the-", "you mother-", "you're such a-" (yes, it was literally just that)

-repeating that phrase over and over again, an endless amount of times

-making farting noises with their hands

-constantly giggling like a bunch of girls

-throwing paper wads at people

And the list just goes on and on....

Though this isn't quite as bad as my study hall. There, you've got some random junkies, a couple of sluts, and really weird people.  Their typical conversations are about things like, that crazy party they went to last weekend, or getting high last night, or even how long they've remained abstinent.  Sorry guys, I don't think two weeks counts (and that was the longest one I heard).

Today, I happened to be graced with a discussion on "who was more sexually experienced" and "where they've 'done it'". Two guys and one girl, talking about it. The girl kept claiming she had had sex in the most places.

-sigh-

The end is near

No, not the end of life as we know it, but something much nicer: the end of the school year.  I can already smell summer on its way. Nine more weeks of this hellish school year, and then I'm free! For a little while at least... Oh, how wonderful the summer is...